What Is Abuse? > LGBT
Domestic Violence in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Queer Relationships
Domestic violence in the GLBT community is a serious issue. The rates of domestic violence in same-gender relationships is roughly the same as domestic violence in opposite-gendered couples relationships (25%). Domestic violence in the GLBT community is under reported because the fear of homophobic attitudes and systems. Some may not want to report because of disclosure of nature of their relationship if they are not out to friends, family, neighbors, or co-workers.
If someone is not out to their friends and family, chances are they are not sharing information about their relationship to others and are suffering alone.
Same sex battering is not mutual battering.
There is always an unbalance of power in an abusive relationship. Someone makes decisions and has control over the relationship and their partner.
Questions to consider about your relationship.
What are the good times like and how often do they happen?
How are you/how is your life different from before you were involved with your partner?
How do disagreements get resolved, if they do?
How does you partner let you know how they feel?
Do you or your partner ever lie? When and about what?
Have you ever felt afraid of your partner's ability to hurt you?
Has there been physical violence by either person?
Is there any name-calling, put- downs, yelling/screaming?
Autonomy in your relationship
How are decisions made in the relationship?
If you share money in any way, whose choice was that?
Who manages and makes decisions about money?
Intimicy in your relationship
How does sex happen in the relationship?
Has your partner ever touched you in ways that made you uncomfortable or hurt you?
Has your partner ever touched you in a sexual way that hurts or was uncomfortable without your consent?
Has your partner ever withheld sex as punishment?
Have they ever manipulated or forced you into having sex when you didn't want to?
What would you describe as the worst thing your partner does?
Who makes decisions about children?
Are children ever used as weapons?
Are children around during fights? Have they ever been hurt?
Your support system
How does your partner feel when you do things without them?
What kinds of things do you or your partner do separately?
Do you have contact with friends/family/other supports? How does your partner feel about that?